Derp It!

Game 20ish

Undead Siege

You can keep the Shard and put it in the hilt of a weapon or destroy it.

Players: Basher, Gromph Starforge, Malathok, Carnealion Cloak, Walter Jerbralter and Fargrim for now(Jerry)
Experience gained: 778
Loot: Level 5 Lightning Warhammer +1, Level 4 Black Iron Scale +1, 180 gp and 2 100 gp gems, 2 potions of healing, level 6 Orb of Impenetrable Escape +2, a black gem

WUBBA WUBBA!” shouts Gromph Starforge as he points the Wand of Wonder at a small group of shambling zombies. A massive fireball erupts from the tip of the wand and screams across the room to the undead creatures. Moans and groans escape the lips of the beasts as their flesh and bone are almost instantly incinerated. The rest of the party stares wide-eyed for a moment, regaining their composure after watching the flaming death of the motley bunch before them. Malathok, acting quickly, dashes in and slashes at the surviving zombies while Basher summons psionic power to crush the small minds of his foes. After a quick squabble, the last of the enemies are vanquished.
Malathok kneels to the floor, examining the now RE-dead zombie before him.
“These tattoos on his arms…this is our man!” he exclaims to the party. He then notices a purple sparkle coming from the corpse’s chest. A large, purple gem, pulsing with magic dangles from a chain fastened around the zombie’s neck. Malathok, without hesitation, rips the chain from the body and shows it to the party.
“Something about this makes me uneasy…Orcus’ power is in this gem,” mumbles Fargrim.
SHINY!” yells Walter Jerbralter.
The party argues for a few minutes about the gem and what to do with it. Finally, Gromph steps in with a suggestion.
“I’ll keep this in my Bag of Holding, okay? We’ll figure out what to do with it later.” The party agrees and searches the room for more valuables. Nothing of value is found, so they move on to the next room. An undead soldier is lying half-buried in rubble. A quick blow to the head puts him out of his misery, and the party examines his body. A powerful hammer as well as strong body-armor is found. Fargrim gladly takes the loot, as he is lacking in good items as a new party-member, and the party vacates the room to head back to town to finish their mission. They ascend the spiral-staircase to the large sanctuary-like room they originally came from and begin their exit, when a terrifying shriek erupts from the forest outside. The Carnelian Cloak sprints to the doors and scans the horizon before him. Moaning and cries of pain enter his ears as visions of unspeakable creatures fill his eyes. Undead beings of every race, every type, shamble towards the building the party rests within.
“Can…can zombies climb trees?” mumbles The Cloak with a trembling voice.
YES! THEY CAN!” booms a magical voice from the heavens.
“W-would they find us if we hid in the basement with a bookshelf over the entrance?” he also asked.
“OF COURSE THEY WOULD!”

The DM has spoken.

The party has no choice but to barricade the building’s entrances as best as possible while fighting off undead intruders. Waves of zombies squeeze through the doors and attack the crew as they hammer pieces of wood into other entrances.
WUBBA WUBBA!” screams Gromph Starforge…again…and again…and again. After blinding himself, decreasing the damage resistances of himself and Malathok, teleporting onto the idol of Orcus, developing a helpless stutter, and learning how to cook a mean steak, Gromph Starforge finally decides to call it quits on the Wand of Wonder for the day. OR DOES HE?
“W-W-WUBB-B-BAAA W-W-WUBBA!!!” he manages to scream two more times. First, a magical well with untold powers appears in the room…then a rain of dead fish falls upon the desolate sanctuary…which immediately become undead fish. THEN Gromph Starforge decides to play support.

As the fight dragged on through night, the action was taking it toll on the group. And as dawn approached, a terrible crash was heard. Walter Jerbralter and Basher turned to see an old enemy. Standing before them was a rather large, rotting goblin corpse. “Irontooth?” Basher exclaimed. Then he chuckled. " hehe… I get it!.. Because we totally.. you know…hehe..killed him… and he is a zombie hehe…." His voice trailed off as nobody else seemed amused.“What? C’mon, tell me that isnt funny……” If the moans of zombies could be turned off, a cricket could have been heard. “You guys suck…” He said, his mood diminishing as he turned back and let loose a blast of psionic power, obliterating a horde of zombies surronding the dead goblin. Another well placed arrow from Walter Jerbralter finished him off. Just as the two were about to revel in their victory, part of the ceiling caved in. It had been broken by a zombie hulk, which fell through the crumbling roof. Basher was about to turn to fire on the massive abomination when a massive flash lit up the room. Basher had hit the deck. Getting back up he stared at Walter Jerbralter with a terrified look. “What….. was….. that?……”. The zombie hulk looked ready to completely fall apart…
After completely annihilating the last few zombies in the room, including Irontooth and another massive, Lazarus-complex zombie, everything falls silent. All that’s left to do is to head back to town…and figure out what to do with this gem…

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