Derp It!

Slithery situations

The door to the training chamber burst open. Snake tongue warriors hard at work training initiates all suddenly turned to look. Talon fired a shot at the first opponent to make himself visible. It was followed up by Adalthea who launched a cloud of foul smoke into the air.

The warriors and initiates instinctively moved to escape it, some approaching the group, others pinning themselves near the walls. Seeking to serve and impress their superiors, many of the initiates backed up the warriors, strengthening them. However the cloud of gas quickly overpowered a few of them. Basher gazed into the eyes of one of the warriors, and without warning he turned and attempted to swing at his own follower, but failed. As they attempted to reset their fighting formation, they began to cough and sputter. Adalthea had moved the cloud towards the doorway to shield the group.

The entire time however, nobody noticed a small hobbit, a halfling, in the corner. He was chained to the wall and, taking advantage of the distraction, drew upon a hidden reserve of energy to slip out of the handcuffs. Free at last! He quickly gathered his gear. Taking a knife he threw it at one of the unsuspecting snake tongue initiates, but missed. To his extraordinary luck the initiate hadnt noticed at all.

Meanwhile, Bert Longbottom, the unscrupulous humanoid, gave Talon a reassuring back rub and pointed over his shoulder “That guy, hit him!” Talon drew back his bow and fired a shot dead center into the warrior, knocking him back. Then in a great feat of elven acrobatics, he lept over the warrior and fired another shot into him.
“haha, sucks to be you!” Basher shouted from behind Adalthea. He was still feeling the effects of the rage potion from the previous chamber. Towards this end he was rather mouthy and a little too eager to get his hands on an opponent.
Just then a Warrior swung her blade, but missed Adalthea, “Oh you’re in for it now!” Basher quickly responded by reaching out in between Talon and Adalthea, grabbing the warrior and pulling her in, giving her a firm curb stomp and knocking her out.

The halfling, Merrick, and run towards the wall as an initiate chased him. He ran up the wall and did a backflip, landing skillfully behind the snake tongue, he stabbed him and left the knife in. It was covered in excrement of Bert, a side effect of Bert running into the fray and then realizing just how scary the fray was.

“Now who is next?” Basher said with a grin. The next warrior looked at him and hissed in draconic enough of your mouth, fool. Basher responded coyly whenever you are ready sweetheart
As the warrior swung at Basher he evaded and grabbed a hold of him by the throat, holding him in place.
Thwack!
On of Talons arrows hit him square in the back. As he fell to the ground, Basher Nodded at Talon “Now that`s what im talking about!” Then he kicked the limp body. “Silly little tosser…”

Meanwhile, in the background, Bert Longbottom had grabbed a hold of a warrior and was forcing him to drink what was surely an unspeakable mixture of foul liquids. Adalthea had fey-stepped through the fray to join him. Bert immediately began to check her out.

Bert was a strange one….

Merrick grabbed a hold of the lever and pulled it back to its “off” position, but it was too late, the water seemed to have drained fully.

The last of the warriors attempted to puke out some of the liquid, then saw Basher insulting his brethren. He starred for a moment. Basher looked back. what the **** are you going on about? he shouted at it in draconic. come and have a go if it makes you feel better he held up the knife menacingly.

It was over in a flash as Basher dodged the swung and sent his knee into the warriors stomach, then elbowed him in the face, knocking him out cold.

As the first snake tongue warrior came around, Basher stood over her.
“Speak common?”
She only gave a hissing response.
“Oh right, draconic….” he murmured.
well here is the deal sister, Im deciding if I want to make you and your friends into boots or a jacket, if you are nice, your skin can stay on your body

She looked enraged. ill never tell you anything.. human!
Just then Bert Longbottom appeared.
The warrior suddenly became panicked, struggling to get away. She hissed a guttural sound something like Longbottomssss Burtss!
“aww, thats cute, they know you Bert!” Basher laughed. Bert grinned, “Maybe she would like a drink?” He held up the water skin full of vile liquid.
The warrior put on a bold face. no! you may kill me, but you wont defeat our lord! He knows you are coming, he is going to love to have you for lunch!
Basher`s sarcasm knew no bounds. oh good, im starving! does he have those little mini sandwiches? Im really in the mood for one of those!
Fool! the woman spat He loves the taste of human flesh!
Basher leaned in close. here is the thing… His face began to turn green and scaly, he became one of them. he will never know what hit him
She looked in terror, maybe she had never seen a changeling, maybe it just caught her off guard.
Basher sighed. “Shirt”
what? the warrior replied.
Shirt. Im done talking, ive decided you are gonna be the shirt
She hissed ravenously.
Suddenly he stabbed he through the skull. Then, he began to turn over the bodies and skin them, whistling a tune casually as he did so.
“Ummm guys….I uhh.. hate snakes..” Bert said uneasy.
“You want this?” Basher said, holding up a piece of skin with a tattoo of some sort on it to show Talon.
“Sure, thanks.” Talon nodded. Basher tossed it to him, then looked as Bert keeled over.
“Yup, there he goes…”
“Bllllaaaaaahhrrggg…”

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Hussmann

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