Derp It!

Story from first 4 games

The adventurer team Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt found themselves on the Kings Road on their way to Winterhaven. They were on the lookout for their missing mentor Douven Staul who brought their group together into the team that it is today. His wife asked to look for him in Winterhaven. He was looking for treasure in an ancient dragon burial site. The team was having a fun trip until they were ambushed by a group of kobolds.

After they were dispatched Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt arrived at Winterhaven without being allowed access. A stealthy night mission was needed and Basher was just the one to do it. However it was not without sacrifice as he took on the form of Jim-Bob just before killing him. Basher met with Lord Padraig at Wraftons Inn and was asked to get rid of the kobold menace. He also gave Basher a map to the dragon burial site.

After meeting back with his group, Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt dispatched of some enemies at the dragon burial site, including a spectral image who screamed out “”/campaigns/derp-it/characters/kalarel" class=“wiki-content-link”>Kalarel, I have failed you!" with his dying breath. Luckily Douven Staul was found there, tied, gaged, and in a boxed crate.

The band of adventurers then hunted down the kobolds in their waterfall lair. They found a large goblin with two axes who almost destroyed Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt. His name was Irontooth who not only mentioned Kalarel but had a note from him found in his belongings. The note mentioned keeping some pesky adventurers busy and away from the Shadowfell Keep

Back at Winterhaven the group asked around about Kalarel and the Shadowfell Keep. Eventually Valthrun the Prescient told them the history of the keep and asked them to investigate. Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt did just that and found many goblins guarding the inside of the Keep.

Game 5
Zambies, sleeping goblins, and Splug

After just 2 short battles you went back to town to heal up their wounds and practice new abilities (level up). However, Winterhaven’s gate was closed and Lord Padraig asked you to deal with the undead threat in their graveyard.

After a 6 hour rest your team went in and was ambushed by ZAMBIES. Suprisingly, Ninarin the elf was with them (Basher recognized him from the Wraftons Inn). After defeating them, Ninarin was interrigated and she agreed to tell you where her hidden message was for freedom. After one of you sneaked out of the graveyard you agreed to let her yell out where it was at the edge of the graveyard. She yelled that she had it in her pocket, ran, and was tackled. You took her to Winterhaven, but not before you took her head as a spoil of war.

Not wanting to waste more time, Admiral Wolverine Lightning bolt traveled back to the Shadowfell Keep and after dispatching of some goblins, you found a goblin in a cell by the name of Splug. He begged for his freedom and said he was willing to carry your gear, set up camp, do anything for your group for freedom.

Splug also told of a secret entrance to the main “baracks” for the goblins where Balgron the fat was. His information paid off as your team killed Balgron in his sleep, tricked the other goblins that Balgron wasn’t dead, and then killed them all.

Game 6 10/25/10
Skeletons, prayer, and Sir Keegan

The adventurers walked through a crypt full of sarcophogi. The 8 sarcophogi opened and 8 skeletons came out. During that battle more and more skeletons kept coming out of them on a regular basis. Finally Gromph Starforge went to a nearby alter where depictions of Bahamut and soldiers kneeling where and kneeled and prayed to Bahamut. The skeletons instantly stopped attacking and went back to their final resting places.

Past that door was 1 large coffin. When they opened it, out came a skeleton yelling “The rift must never be reopened! Why are you here?” The adventurers then tried to convince the long-dead Sir Keegan of their intentions and he gave hem his blessing along with his long friend…Aecris the longsword. Sir Keegan told them the tale of his madness and hoping that the blade came be redeemed.

Game 7
Excavation room and rats

Sorry, not much to update here, but you guys killed some dudes mining and one pleaded for his life in exchange for giving a holy symbol. He gave it to Gromph Starforge.

After that you guys went to the tunnel / caves and found a bunch of rats and a large jelly. With some incredibly lucky hits, you were able to kill that jelly in a very short time, but not before he dished out some major damage.

A door in front of you read “Stay out. Really.”

Treasure found 22gp and +1 Symbol of Battle (Job)
don’t know what the exp was.

Players: Avadia, Gromph Starforge, Riki (as a pally), Malathok, and Basher

One of the sheets of vellum is written in goblinoid. Derp can read it.

Saa (Greetings), Shava (Sword Brother) Tra’ak.
Strange things are happening in the Labyrinth and the Seven-Pillared Hall. I am starting to question what our oath-brothers are doing. Find out the real purpose of what this high priest Kalarel is doing in the Shadowfell Keep.
Lhevk-ruh (Skilled Warlord) Krand of the Bloodreavers

Game 8
Blue Slime and adventures in van seats

You guys went into the room clearly marked “Stay out” yet survived. The Blue Slime had trouble getting to your guys with that spirit panther in the way. After dispatching of the creature you found some sheets of vellum along with the bones of 2 hobgoblins.

I then got a call from the Photoside Cafe guys and all that jazz. Thank you guys again for helping out get the seats from the attic AND for figuring out how to put them in. I really don’t think I could have done it without you guys. You may find some items in a room that just may be worth your wild.

Treasure found: Potion of Healing, +2 item of Job’s choice, message cylinder with 3 sheets of vellum.

Sheet 1: a map that shows the location of Shadowfell Keep
Sheet 2: a message in common: “Remember, don’t wet the nodule – unless ”/campaigns/derp-it/characters/kalarel" class=“wiki-content-link”>Kalarel is not receptive to the offer. Then, wet it only from a distance, and then, turn and run. Water will bring the creature out of its dormancy, and it will consume anything it can reach."
Sheet 3: a letter written in same hand as previous message: “Greetings, ”/campaigns/derp-it/characters/kalarel" class=“wiki-content-link”>Kalarel. I have recently learned of your activity in the area and have an offer for you. During your time in this region, if you should capture any humanoids, we are eager to buy them. We have duergar allies in Thunderspire in need of slave stock. If you are interested, send an envoy back to me. My messengers will show the way." it is signed: “Cheif Krand of the ”/campaign/derp-it/wikis/Bloodreavers/new" class=“create-wiki-page-link”>Bloodreavers."

Players: Gromph Starforge, Avadia, Basher, Content Not Found: provyerka (and Josh with the van)

Story since game 8

If someone can edit this, that would be great

Game 19ish
The Race

The guy who offered you money for keeping that one guy out of the race also offered to help you find the entrance to Thunderspire Mountain.

Game 20ish
Undead Siege

You can keep the Shard and put it in the hilt of a weapon or destroy it.

Players: Basher, Gromph Starforge, Malathok, Carnealion Cloak, Walter Jerbralter and Fargrim for now(Jerry)
Experience gained: 778
Loot: Level 5 Lightning Warhammer +1, Level 4 Black Iron Scale +1, 180 gp and 2 100 gp gems, 2 potions of healing, level 6 Orb of Impenetrable Escape +2, a black gem

WUBBA WUBBA!” shouts Gromph Starforge as he points the Wand of Wonder at a small group of shambling zombies. A massive fireball erupts from the tip of the wand and screams across the room to the undead creatures. Moans and groans escape the lips of the beasts as their flesh and bone are almost instantly incinerated. The rest of the party stares wide-eyed for a moment, regaining their composure after watching the flaming death of the motley bunch before them. Malathok, acting quickly, dashes in and slashes at the surviving zombies while Basher summons psionic power to crush the small minds of his foes. After a quick squabble, the last of the enemies are vanquished.
Malathok kneels to the floor, examining the now RE-dead zombie before him.
“These tattoos on his arms…this is our man!” he exclaims to the party. He then notices a purple sparkle coming from the corpse’s chest. A large, purple gem, pulsing with magic dangles from a chain fastened around the zombie’s neck. Malathok, without hesitation, rips the chain from the body and shows it to the party.
“Something about this makes me uneasy…Orcus’ power is in this gem,” mumbles Fargrim.
SHINY!” yells Walter Jerbralter.
The party argues for a few minutes about the gem and what to do with it. Finally, Gromph steps in with a suggestion.
“I’ll keep this in my Bag of Holding, okay? We’ll figure out what to do with it later.” The party agrees and searches the room for more valuables. Nothing of value is found, so they move on to the next room. An undead soldier is lying half-buried in rubble. A quick blow to the head puts him out of his misery, and the party examines his body. A powerful hammer as well as strong body-armor is found. Fargrim gladly takes the loot, as he is lacking in good items as a new party-member, and the party vacates the room to head back to town to finish their mission. They ascend the spiral-staircase to the large sanctuary-like room they originally came from and begin their exit, when a terrifying shriek erupts from the forest outside. The Carnelian Cloak sprints to the doors and scans the horizon before him. Moaning and cries of pain enter his ears as visions of unspeakable creatures fill his eyes. Undead beings of every race, every type, shamble towards the building the party rests within.
“Can…can zombies climb trees?” mumbles The Cloak with a trembling voice.
YES! THEY CAN!” booms a magical voice from the heavens.
“W-would they find us if we hid in the basement with a bookshelf over the entrance?” he also asked.

The DM has spoken.

The party has no choice but to barricade the building’s entrances as best as possible while fighting off undead intruders. Waves of zombies squeeze through the doors and attack the crew as they hammer pieces of wood into other entrances.
WUBBA WUBBA!” screams Gromph Starforge…again…and again…and again. After blinding himself, decreasing the damage resistances of himself and Malathok, teleporting onto the idol of Orcus, developing a helpless stutter, and learning how to cook a mean steak, Gromph Starforge finally decides to call it quits on the Wand of Wonder for the day. OR DOES HE?
“W-W-WUBB-B-BAAA W-W-WUBBA!!!” he manages to scream two more times. First, a magical well with untold powers appears in the room…then a rain of dead fish falls upon the desolate sanctuary…which immediately become undead fish. THEN Gromph Starforge decides to play support.

As the fight dragged on through night, the action was taking it toll on the group. And as dawn approached, a terrible crash was heard. Walter Jerbralter and Basher turned to see an old enemy. Standing before them was a rather large, rotting goblin corpse. “Irontooth?” Basher exclaimed. Then he chuckled. " hehe… I get it!.. Because we totally.. you know…hehe..killed him… and he is a zombie hehe…." His voice trailed off as nobody else seemed amused.“What? C’mon, tell me that isnt funny……” If the moans of zombies could be turned off, a cricket could have been heard. “You guys suck…” He said, his mood diminishing as he turned back and let loose a blast of psionic power, obliterating a horde of zombies surronding the dead goblin. Another well placed arrow from Walter Jerbralter finished him off. Just as the two were about to revel in their victory, part of the ceiling caved in. It had been broken by a zombie hulk, which fell through the crumbling roof. Basher was about to turn to fire on the massive abomination when a massive flash lit up the room. Basher had hit the deck. Getting back up he stared at Walter Jerbralter with a terrified look. “What….. was….. that?……”. The zombie hulk looked ready to completely fall apart…
After completely annihilating the last few zombies in the room, including Irontooth and another massive, Lazarus-complex zombie, everything falls silent. All that’s left to do is to head back to town…and figure out what to do with this gem…

Game 21
Chamber of Eyes - Bloodreaver Hideout

Players: Carnealion Cloak, Gromph Starforge, Basher, Walter Jerbralter, and Adalthea
Experience gained: 530 (I forgot that convincing the goblins was a skill challenge worth 500 xp/100 to each of you)
Loot: 1,072 gp, 3 gems worth 100 gp each, potion of healing, belt of sacrifice, goggles of aura sight, Krand’s key, and a contract.

The bugbear that Carnealion Cloak killed in his sleep wore a belt of sacrifice +1. In the room with tables, chairs, a terrified Rendil Halfmoon curled in a ball, and a bunch of dead bodies; you found a bunch of items on the table.

You found a key on Krand. In Krand’s room you found a chest, it looks locked…
In his room you also find a letter written in Common. It is a contract to purchase new merchandise for 1,000 gp (no small sum). It is signed by Murkelmor Grimmerzhul, dated two days ago.

Game 22
Court of Bones, "King" Thane, and Rendil the Half-Weremitour-ling

Players: Provyerka, Adalthea, Gromph Starforge, Carnealion Cloak, Walter Jerbralter, Content Not Found: kraden_, _Content Not Found: luca

Thane Cardanas
Court of Bones
Rendil Halfmoon

Experience gained: 485 per person (I figured in 7 players for first battle, but 6 players for traped rooms and I have included the trap you guys have almost finished.
Experience total:
Loot gained: +1 Vicious Longsword


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